Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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