They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize