But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
