Me too!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
