so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
