I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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