so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
