Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
