I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize