i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
