So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
