I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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