I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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