Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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