Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
