we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
