It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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