You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
