Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
