one two three fourrrrnication!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
