I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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