if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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