that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
