I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
