I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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