It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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