she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
