why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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