I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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