Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
