Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
