Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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