hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
