i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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