At least make sure they are 18
Why
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
