If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Bring me that man meat
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
