Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
