Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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