i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He did a backflip because drugs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
