watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
