If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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