i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
