All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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