Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
