Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
