Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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