Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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