Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
