We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
