Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
