I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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