Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
