what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize