So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
