I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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