Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize