so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
