whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
