he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
