You just made me feel so damn special
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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