So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
