Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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