They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
