I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You took a bar mat shot.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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