If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
