Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
