i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
