your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
