Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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