are you so shy because you have an std?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
