I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
