my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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